November 20, 2024
Caregivers may hold themselves to impossibly high standards, but we all act in ways we wish we didn’t sometimes. One way to reduce caregiver stress is to focus on repair - apologizing and reconnecting - after a hard moment. Instead of trying to be perfect, science shows that ruptures and repairs are a normal part of human relationships, and that coming back together after a mistake deepens and grows connection. This also models healthy habits for children as they develop in the future.
A few tips to give to parents on how to repair
- Acknowledge their mistake: “I shouldn’t have yelled”
- Provide some perspective taking: “I was feeling frustrated and am having a hard day”
- Set your intention: “Next time, I will try and use a calm voice”
- Reconnect: “Would you like a hug and we can go back to playing?”
