Lying is a common behavior among 4-5 year olds, but it ISN’T fun for parents. Caregivers can overreact to lies, and resort to punishment, threats or harsh responses. To help them to understand lying developmentally, you can reassure parents that lying demonstrates critical thinking skills and a new understanding and interest in the difference between fantasy and reality.

Instead of engaging in a power struggle, you can encourage caregivers to try a relaxed reaction to lying that can make children more likely to tell the truth:

1. Acknowledge the feeling or wish that motivated the lie. “You wanted that to be true,” or “You wish that that had happened.”
2. State what you believe happened. “The milk was spilled on the floor,” or “It is hard not to have something you want, so sometimes we pretend we are allowed.”
3. Move on to a solution together. “Let’s clean it up together,” or “Let’s go tell our friends that we can’t have that treat.”

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