Toddler refusal is a normal and healthy part of their development. It's how they learn they are separate individuals with their own thoughts and feelings, but it is hard on parents.

Here are 3 tips to offer caregivers around toddler refusal:

1. Give choices: Offering limited choices gives toddlers a sense of control and autonomy, which can reduce defiance and power struggles. Instead of issuing a command like, "Put on your shoes," parents can offer a choice: "Do you want to wear the red shoes or the blue shoes?" This strategy works because parents are still in charge of the outcome (the shoes are getting on), but the child feels empowered because they got to make a decision. This can be used for many daily routines, from picking an outfit to choosing a snack.
2. Turn tasks into a game: Toddlers are more likely to cooperate when an activity is fun and engaging. Encourage parents to make a game out of almost anything. For example, singing a "clean-up song" or turning clean up into a race to see who can put away the most blocks. Humor and silliness are powerful tools that can transform a chore into a playful interaction and help defuse tension.
3. Praise the process, not the outcome: Focusing on a toddler's effort and hard work rather than just the final result can build their intrinsic motivation. Instead of saying, "You're so smart for putting on your pajamas!" parents can say, "Wow, you worked so hard to get your arms through those sleeves!" This type of praise, known as "process praise," helps toddlers learn that their accomplishments come from effort and practice, which encourages them to keep trying even when they face challenges.