Taking a good sleep history is a skill - and most of us were never formally taught it.

Here are 5 tips to do it well:

1. Start with the routine, not the problem. Ask what a typical bedtime looks like before you ask what's wrong. It sets context, builds rapport, and often reveals the problem before the parent even names it.
2. Ask when AND how they fall asleep. What time a child goes to bed matters - but how they get there matters more. Do they need a parent present? Nursing? Rocking? Whatever works at bedtime is what they'll need to recreate at every single night waking. AND, an earlier bedtime can often change sleep problems fast.
3. Ask what caregivers do when the child wakes at night. This is where you find out whether a child has learned to self-soothe - or whether they're depending on a caregiver to resettle them every time. No judgment, just information.
4. Work backwards from morning. Bedtime struggles are often a schedule problem in disguise. Knowing the wake time and nap schedule helps you see whether the issue is timing, not behavior.
5. Ask how the family is doing - not just the child. Parents minimize their own exhaustion. A simple "how is this affecting you?" changes the whole conversation, builds trust, and helps you gauge how urgently they need support.

‍Sleep is a family issue. Ask better questions, give better care.